Loaded Gun

Another brick in the wall for the fence of no escape
Not another high wire act for my acrobatics to take our breath away
Cryptic faded suicide notes, self induced drama for this death defying act
Although the razors and pills may no longer defy the grim reaper
Not another word, an answering machine of miscommunication only to hear their worried cries

Another musical note, another Shakespearean tragedy thrown to the suffocation
Of my magic tricks in the amazing noose
The disappearing act-the disappearing act of life
Nothing will be relinquished when the tears spill down my face

Kryptonite for Mr. and Miss. Depressed and the lines of their script
The vocals in their solos
The sketches in their comics
The smiles of the children in braids
And the smudged inked lines
Inherit the will of the short end of the straw
As they listen for that reverberating whisper of a gunshot and the cinders
Of their useless nonexistent lives

When I leave you to your glowing screens and your silent phones,
The next empty desk now engraved in my blood
Every last word for the last breath in a winter wonder-wonderland
At my doing my final Irish gig on the circulating coffin with the tears I shared
They will whisper 'We miss you' to the dirt,
remember the worrying night after night
Maybe you could’ve done something, picked up the phone and dialed 911
With my family’s portrait morose faces
And their guilt ridden souls and pathetic weeping ‘We miss you’
The taint of blood that is now on their hands

They miss me, but my blood is on their hands

Because they were too naive to call me out of my death defying tricks
Another brick in the wall for the fence of no escape
Another brick in the wall for another statistic for someone else who couldn’t say
I. Was. Wrong.
Nothing's okay, and nothing's alright,
but we were too afraid of all our dirty secrets
Of drugs, alcohol, self mutilation, rape, and suicide
Investigation and our silent duck taped mouths

I pulled the trigger, but they loaded my gun
And now they succumb one by one.